The Art of the Man-Chat
I love the man-chat. It’s one of my favourite things to observe.
Over the years, I have seen so many instances where men, who are mostly a little older in years, gather at different times of the day to do… whatever it is they do.
I absolutely love watching these gatherings. In my personal experience, not many men in my life took the time to meet in a plaza at the end of the day, or gathered in cafe’s, or played cards. I know this does actually happen in Australia though – consider the MAMIL society – this is what they do once they have completed their morning rides.
However, I started noticing this in Italy years ago when late in the afternoon, the Piazza’s were full, not just of kids playing and tourists wandering, but of men standing around together, or sitting on the bench together. Sometimes talking, sometimes not. Playing petanque, chess, backgammon or cards – whatever their game, they are engaged in social networking at its best, connecting, talking, learning, challenging, laughing, sharing stories, supporting each other.
I saw this again on my trip to Greece, Croatia, Bosnia and Sarajevo. In each of these countries the men gather in open spaces, sometimes all day every day, sometimes morning or night…..but always dedicated to the social act of gathering with like minded people.
The funniest thing I saw about all this was in Italy one time where the men were doing their thaaaang, and suddenly about 4 wives turned up at the opposite end of the Piazza, just stood there and yelled across the cobble-stoned ancient gathering place (and believe me their voices could be heard a mile away) and then suddenly – most of the men just dropped what they were doing, gave knowing looks to their mates, and scurried as quickly as their old legs would take them to all exits of the Piazza. The remaining ones either laughing or shaking their heads as their friends departed. It is clear who rules the roost in Italy.
I decided a couple of hours later that this exact piazza would be my home for dinner that night. The strangest thing happened as I sat sipping some Lemoncello at the end of my delicious Spaghetti Carbonara meal at about 10.00pm. Slowly but surely a gathering of older women started happening on the long stone bench to the left of my restaurant. 3, 6, 10 of them within about 15 minutes. When they were all there, the ladies slowly made their way over to the Gelato shop – purchased their favourite flavour (which seemed to take forever, I felt for the poor guy serving them) and all went back and sat on the bench and through animated conversation which didn’t seem to stop, somehow ate every last part without spilling a drip. They were laughing and watching the kiddies that were still playing in the Piazza (seriously there are no rules around time in Italy!) and eventually left by about 11.00pm.
What I love about all this, is that these people value time with their friends, understand the importance of community and how being with people is so important in life, particularly in later years. Research now suggests that loneliness and depression increases in Western society as we age. Perhaps we can look to our Mediterranean and Asian friends and reflect how well they carry this important tradition of social interaction well into their twilight years.
Shanghai, China
It’s so lovely to watch these interactions and hope that I am doing exactly what they are doing when I am their age. If I look or feel half as happy as they do then I will be a very happy person.
Travel is the best.
